First Date
by LLY1
Summary: Now almost 17, our favourie criminal mastermind is set up on a blind date.


Author: Lly

Rating: G

That's about it… Enjoy and review!

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First Date

It wasn't that Artemis didn't _like_ girls. He just had no interest. 

Not enough time. Not enough patience. And to be quite honest, almost all the girls he's ever come across in his life were just… Well, let's just say he's played fetch with things that were smarter. Artemis never played fetch with anyone or anything before, but for argument's sake, let's say he has.

And this, this here, was his mother's idea.

"Artemis, you're almost seventeen, haven't you ever had a girlfriend?" she would say. And every time she would, Artemis would have the same answer:

"I'm quite happy the way things are now, mother," he'd reply and went straight up to his room, closing the door quietly behind him.

She had stopped asking him for nearly two weeks. This came as a pleasant surprise to Artemis, although, he knew that it would only last so long…

She told him when he was just finishing up his dinner, "Artemis, I've set you up on a date with this lovely young lady who lives a few houses down from us." Artemis just stared at her; he didn't know _any _girls in the neighbourhood. Nor would he like to. "Oh, don't give me that look, Arty." This would be where Artemis lost his temper… if it wasn't his mother he was talking to. She continued, "I told her that the limo would be at her house seven."

Artemis placed his fork gently on the napkin to his right. Took a deep breath, absorbing what his mother just had told him. She couldn't honestly expect him to go on a date. He looked up at her. No, she did. He looked over at his father. He was acting like he had nothing to do with it. Artemis knew better, he did. And, wait a minute… "You mean… Seven o' clock tonight?"

"Yes, dear," she replied with a smile.

Artemis suddenly had gotten a… weird and… unnatural feeling in the pit of his stomach. "But… But," he stammered, "it's six o' clock now!" He didn't raise his voice, he knew better than that.

His mother smiled again. "Yes, dear, and that's why you should be getting ready now!"

"Oh," he said, "W-What are we doing anyway?"

"You two are going to see a movie, and then go for ice-cream after. Your father and I thought it would be best if you went out and did things like a normal teenager for once. You've been up in your room for hours on end, and quite frankly, we're a little worried."

"Oh," he said, "okay." He couldn't believe he was actually going to let himself do this…

Right this moment, he was sitting in the filthy movie theatre, in his clean, lose, white, long-sleeved, button-down shirt, and black slacks, which his mother loved and he hated. _And _he was watching some movie that he would rather not be watching, and sitting next to maybe the most dim-witted girl he had ever met. 

Her name was Ashley. Ashley Water, to be exact. It was another thing that bothered Artemis, such a plain name. It might as well have been Jessica or Nicole or something equally as common. And God, was she dumb. Of course, everyone compared to Artemis was dumb, being a genius and all. But the boy had to have standards. And this girl wasn't quite meeting them at all.

Well, she was pretty, he would give her that much. She had the pretty blue eyes, blond hair and nice body thing going for her. Too bad that's about _all_ she had.

The movie was nearly over, thankfully. _Then_ all Artemis had to deal with was the twenty minutes in the dreadful ice-cream parlour across the way and he was home free. Then… It hit him like a ton of bricks.

The goodnight kiss.

Well, he didn't _have_ to kiss her, did he? There were ways around that sort of thing, wasn't there? He suddenly became very uncomfortable. So uncomfortable, he began to fidget in his seat. Ashley noticed.

"Something wrong?" she whispered.

"No, nothing." Immediately, Artemis looked the other way. He didn't want to send her the wrong signals or anything. He didn't like the girl. He didn't have time for girls, never mind this one, anyway.

"Oh, okay." She went back to the movie.

Honestly, Artemis couldn't tell if she even liked _him_. She didn't seem like she did.. However, Artemis understood many things, but one thing he admittedly didn't understand was girls. Things were never seemed to be a constant pattern with them. The mood swings and everything. It was aggravating and Artemis didn't want to be bothers.

The movie was over.

Artemis got up and began to walk down the isle, letting Ashley go first. He might have not liked the girl, but at least he had some manners. No socializing skills, which was what he obviously needed to get through the next half hour of the night. The movie was considerably easy. He hoped she didn't ask him about it…

As if almost reading his mind, she asked him about it. "So, what'd you think?"

"It was okay," he lied. He thought the movie was well… quite daft, really. But maybe if he said it was okay she'd leave him alone. 

Wrong.

"I loved it!" she exclaimed enthusiastically. "Though, I could have dealt without all the action scenes."

"Yeah," Artemis replied dully, pretending to study the movie poster in the theatre's lobby.

She smiled and looked up at him adoringly. "Well, you're not very talkative, are you?"

And now what he was going to say? That he didn't like her? No, he had to think of something… He's a genius, this shouldn't be hard… _Think, Artemis, think._ He froze. "Um… Well, I was just thinking about something, is all." _Good one,_ he told himself, _very believable. _"The movie," he added.

The whole thinking thing must have caught her off guard. "Oh," she replied, and quickly changed the subject, "so where are we off to?"

He _could_ have lied and said they were going home, and end the night right then and there… But Butler was watching from the limo that was parked outside the ice-cream parlour. "Ice-cream," he said.

"OooOoo," Ashley said dumbly, "I love ice-cream!" She nearly jumped with joy. And Artemis, could have hurled.

When they arrived in the parlour and took their seats, Artemis pretended to look over the menu. He had no intentions whatsoever in buying anything from _there_, but it prevented him from making social contact. "So," Ashley said, "whatcha getting?" She smiled.

One of those, pretty, stupid, flashy girly smiles Artemis hated. The kids that made you want to… well, he didn't know what. "I'll just get water… Spring water, that is." After a seconds pause he asked her, "What about you?"

"Oh well.. I don't know, I guess a small vanilla sundae." Artemis was able to tell by her expression that she probably was going to get something larger until he came out with saying he was having just water. The waiter came over, and they made their orders. Artemis wound up getting nothing, because the store didn't have any spring or bottled water. Ashley got her sundae anyway, and told Artemis she'd share it with him.

She offered him some ice cream multiple times through those tedious twenty minutes. And Artemis _refused_ the ice cream, multiple times. Finally, he paid for the ice cream and they were on their way to the limo.

The ride home, was quiet. Ashley spent a good amount of time staring at Artemis, and Artemis spent a good amount of time staring out of the window. The moment was almost near.

_Why_ did his mother have to do this to him?

Here they were, in front of her house. She had a nice house, actually, big, but not as big as Fowl Manor. Butler opened the door on her side; she walked out.

Butler left the door open. Meaning: he was telling Artemis to walk her to her door. "Damn it," Artemis swore under his breath as he slid himself out of the limo. He took a deep breath, why was he getting so nervous over this, anyway?

Because he's never kissed before, that's why. He walked her to her door… She looked at him and smiled. "Well, goodnight," he said.

Awkward pause. "Yeah, heh, goodnight."

_Now or never._ He checked to see if Butler was watching, sure enough, he wasn't. He looked back at Ashley, looking up at him. And Artemis went for the kill.

It was completely not like he ever imagined. It was… nice, actually. Just a nice, soft, innocent, kiss on the lips. They broke it off and looked at each other. "Goodnight," Ashley said as she opened the door and slipped inside.

Artemis walked back to the limo. Butler opened the door for him, and he slid in. He let a satisfied smile escape him.

He could get really used to this.


End file.
